Why do we let ugly men exist?

Well it's not very nice to kill off men because they're ugly. I just wish that I could go out with a really good looking guy cuz now I know how physical attraction works. Physical attraction is basically what took my ex-boyfriends away. You know and they chose to date either someone prettier than me or someone of A different race and then me and now I'm doing the same thing! I pretty much like go through any guy that wants to date me and pretty much select them like first of all like how good looking they are. I mean guys did that to me and initially I really didn't like the feeling of being rejected because there was going to be a prettier girl but it makes sense! You know it's a half physical attraction it really does. I didn't know that I should be physically attracted to my boyfriend. I should be. Now if we grow old together and we grow ugly together, then that's okay but now I'm seeing why they chose either prettier girls than me or a different race than me because I didn't understand it at first but now I see why you know sometimes physical attraction, helps to glue together the relationship and the know many other things that intensify the love and passion but it's not the only thing that intensifies that stuff but now I'm seeing why you know some of my ex's might have been taking away from me because they saw better looking girls. I am also doing the same thing lately. I now understand after doing the same thing why they chose to go out with either prettier girls than me or white girls or whatever because there's different reasons. And I'm also doing the same thing. I think if it's right for the goose then it probably could be right for the candor. And I am part of that gander and so I feel like men did the same thing to me and chose really really gorgeous girls over me and I don't think it's right that it's okay only for men to do. Actually there's nothing even in the Bible or any kind of religious script or anything in any kind of law or rule that says that I can't do something like that. I felt you know that hurt and pain but sometimes you know it's a initiation thing. It like introduces you into something that you didn't know was there before or introduces you to something that should be there or something like that. So the initial pain that I felt from the rejection over my looks and my ex-boyfriends choosing someone better looking than me, was only basically like kind of like an initiation phase or kind of like a stepping or introduction to how maybe I also could be for myself instead of going out with somebody that I'm not physically attracted to as well as emotionally and spiritually and stuff like that. And that I might have been really gullible when saying that there should not be any physical attraction but instead emotional attraction only. I might have been really stupid for saying that because what rule is there and whoever's made it a rule to say that there should not be any physical attraction? There is not a rule like that. Which means that I find myself now well actually I have been really attracted to really good looking people for a long time. But now I'm realizing that it's okay to do to be attracted to and let myself be attracted to attractive guys. It's okay to do it because there's so much pressure because there's like girls that don't want other girls to like physically attractive guys because they want to be able to date them etc etc. so I'm letting myself be okay with being physically attracted to a physically attractive guy and I'm being comfortable with it and I am comfortable with it. I'm comfortable with it without any pressure to do otherwise. I'm totally comfortable with it and now I'm understanding what might have happened in my other relationships when they were either cheating on me with gorgeous girls or downloading p**** with gorgeous girls or eyeballing gorgeous girls on the streets or getting married to gorgeous girls or going out with gorgeous girls after breaking up with me and now I'm seeing like what is going on so I'm pretty much just doing the same thing. No do I believe it's wrong what I'm doing? No I don't actually because for the longest Time that's happened to me and I thought it was wrong because it was happening to me so therefore it must be wrong right? Because of the fact that I was getting dumped or I was getting cheated on or I was getting hurt emotionally because my boyfriend was going out with a better looking girl than me behind my back for example but should I think that just because of that that it was wrong? I was sad over it obviously because I'm the one getting rejected and I'm the one getting dumped etc or cheated on but I didn't realize that did I think it was wrong solely because it was happening to me? Probably because I thought that because it was happening to me that it was wrong. But I might have been wrong on that so what I do now is only choose guys that are really really good looking and I don't ever talk to or even look in the direction of an unattractive guy. I know that sometimes like for example like I will I know this happened to me maybe a few weeks ago, but like for example there might be a good looking guy sitting there by himself? And not because I want to sit next to him but because I have to sit next to him, I'll sit next to him. But good looking guy doesn't want it so what does the average female do is she is going to take it personally and be hurt by it possibly unless she knows the guy and she thinks he's a dick head but if he's a complete stranger and he knows nothing about you and you sit next to him and he ends up moving away or standing up and going somewhere completely far away, then you're going to be hurt probably as a female. So what I do is basically the same thing. Like anytime like basically it's a strategy because you're essentially using that kind of strategy because if there's someone that you're not attracted to or that you don't find attractive or whatever and you don't want them talking to you, guess what you're going to do? You're not going to want to sit next to them or be around them long enough to where they're going to start talking to you. So that's pretty much what I do. If somebody unattractive even comes near me? I will immediately look the other way as well as getting up and trying to go as far away as possible even if it's just temporarily. And if they're still there then I'll just like go to a different place or if it's something like necessary that I have to you know be at and I have to stay there then I just won't even look in their direction! I just won't even acknowledge that they're there and I won't even say hi to them I won't even I don't even want them looking at me! Pretty much like almost the same strategy as a guy might use on a girl? But I have a little nicer approach sometimes because well it's not technically an actual approach but if like an ugly guy sits around me, I'll sometimes maybe like give him a small like acknowledgment glare or like an acknowledgment smile and then I'll move away as far as possible or I will just pretty much move away from that general area where he's sitting. You know and I know that that kind of stuff happens to me sometimes. You know and not because I want to sit next to them but I do want to sit next to them. I do want to sit next to them but at that time, I didn't intend on sitting next to them because I thought they were hot. It just happened to be that way so like if they don't like me initially then they will move away but like today the only seat that was left was next to a really truly gorgeous gorgeous guy that was probably here for a convention. He probably was here for a convention cuz he was wearing like a casual suit and then like had you know the badge thing on him and I wanted to eat something but it was one of those like sushi bars and like every seat was full except that one seat and I didn't want him to think that I was trying to sit next to him on purpose to do something to him like grab his balls or something, so I was like okay and they said that that was the only seat available and that I should sit down and eat there. So I sat down there but I didn't want him to think I was trying to talk to him but he was nice and he didn't try to like move or get up and run away or anything. But you know when we have people we don't want even talking to us in the first place as far as the opposite sex, it really is so uncomfortable sometimes to try and reject them silently because some of them never give up. Some guys for example, they never give up on trying to talk to somebody that they like or talk to somebody rather that they want to hook up with. And if you don't like that guy, it's one of the most annoying things to try to get that guy to stop talking to you and stop following you around and stuff like that. It really is so annoying that it pisses you off sometimes. So I understand it like a guy strategy might be like if there is a girl that they don't want talking to them or being around them because they're afraid that they're going to talk to them or flirt with them, then their strategy would be to move away. I was too nice of a person in the past where even when there was an ugly guy that was sitting next to me and even go so far as talk to me, I would still sit there and at least try to be nice to him but being nice to someone like that does not even work at all! It does not work at all. If you even utter a single word to a guy that's trying to chase after you that you don't like? Oh man they never f****** give up. It actually makes them want to try to clean on to you even more if you say anything at all. So one of the best solutions for that is completely ignore them. You just absolutely have to complete and don't even smile I've noticed that even when a female smiles at a stranger that she doesn't even feel attracted to? That smile right there is like an invitation for that gross guy to come after you. It's really just so tricky sometimes. Because you feel like as a female you're just being nice to them and trying to get them off your back softly but some guys don't respond to softly. Some guys do not respond to softly at all. You have to be like firm absolutely firm with them or they will try to hump you right then and there sometimes. you have to be sometimes even like you have to be even really scary firm and sometimes really aggressive and tell them no or tell them to get the f*** away from you and stop talking to you or whatever or they will not f****** listen at all! They will not and they'll continue to stare at you and they'll continue to talk to you and it's like but you already told them no. So why are they continuing to try and talk to you? I don't understand it but I know that in the past are some of my exes did that to me like after we broke up. You know like they tried to tell me no but I kept on like trying to get back with him or at least try to make amends with them and stuff like that but they were not having it because that's the way a lot of guys are. Once they move on? It's like that's it they will move on without even so much as telling you to have a great life! They will act like they will go ahead and move on but they don't want you talking to them at all. They don't want you even existing in their world and they don't even want you trying to contact them sometimes and it's like once they're done they're done. With you. so knowing that about guys, sometimes in the beginning, you absolutely have to make sure that you are wanting to get to know the specific guy or whoever the guy is for sure before you start chatting it up with him because if not, you're going to end up getting a guy that's never going to try to get with you or have sex with you or talk to you because they will feel like you pretty much LED them on. They'll feel like you did something to lead them on even with a smile, and so you pretty much owe it to them. That's the fact of the matter is that like deep inside they feel like you owe it to them to talk to them and have sex with them or to be their girlfriend just because you either once were together at some point or because you kiss them or because you said hi to them or because you smiled at them or something like that. So you got to be really careful with a lot of guys because if you don't tell them firm or if you don't have a strategy to deal with them when they're next to you, then it really is a really annoying situation to get into to get yourself out of because they just won't stop sometimes! It is one of the most annoying things in the planet. And you know I understand because it's been done to me too. And I've done it to other people too. You know and so that's just the way it is. You know the guys that I choose to be physically attracted to and stuff like that some of them like me and some of them don't! Some of them want to have nothing to do with me some of them actually like me and want to get to know me but it's like kind of a toss-up sometimes. The guys that don't like me and I end up liking them, they will probably do the same thing that I will do to guys that I don't like. And the more that I try to talk to them the more annoyed and upset they'll get and it's just the normal thing to do! That's what happens that is a fact of life that we all probably have to go through unless of course we're married and stuff like that but if you're a single person, and you're being as picky as I am, that's just some of the s*** that you got to go through! You either got to go through the pain of getting rejected by a guy that you like or you're going to have to start something with a guy that you like because you asked for it! That's what you wanted so now here's your chance to get to know the guy that you are attracted to! Or you can leave the scenario and go somewhere else and find someone else to be attracted to that's just the way it is you know just like I can't force a really hot guy to be my boyfriend, I really do not want an ugly guy to force me to be his girlfriend. I don't want a guy like that to force me to be his girlfriend. It's the same thing what you know what comes around goes around type of thing and I'm not trying to say that I'm retaliating but I don't know who knows maybe somewhere inside of me, it's trying to take out it's frustrations and sadness over being rejected overlooks! And now I'm finding myself doing the exact same thing that was done to me but I guess in some ways, I feel like I'm starting to agree that that may be the right thing to do for me. You know because it was the right thing for them to do so why is it good for them but not good for me? Why do I have to be the one to go out with ? Because I don't have to be the nice girl in that kind of situation. I can choose who I go out with. But at the same time I have to know that the guy that I'm attracted to also has a choice as well. He also can choose who he wants to be the boyfriend too. And I absolutely have to understand that. You know I'm saying like what's good for the goose is good for the gander type thing but since I'm saying I absolutely have the choice to date whoever I want that I'm attracted to, that probably is the same for the guy as well. He also has a choice who he's going to make his girlfriend. So I'm just going to have to acknowledge that and realize that because you know it's kind of like a two-way street and I can't always have my cake and eat it too. You know what I mean so I have to understand that you know I have the choice who I want to be with which means that the guy is also going to be saying the same thing! And doing the same thing as well! And they're going to be times when the guy is not going to choose me to be his girlfriend! And then they're going to be times where I do have the option of making one of several guys my boyfriend but later on I change my mind and choose not to make him my boyfriend. So I mean just like that you know it is the way it is! So I really don't think the majority of my behavior is out of revenge. Even though when you really think about it it might be out of revenge? But I really don't think it's out of revenge. I really don't think I'm trying to take revenge on men for being that way. Even though I do disagree with a lot of guys and their tendency to prefer really hot girls with for example large boobs and nice legs and a nice face and nice hair etc. I even though I do not like that part of them, there might be some truth to saying that there should be some kind of physical attraction. Which means that it should also go for me too! It should also be able to be a choice and a decision for me as well to go out with someone that I'm physically attracted to. Or else it would be like a double standard and then I might be doing things out of retaliation but we don't want to go there right now. What I'm saying is that no it's just the way it is you know I want what I want and they want what they want and we everybody else wants at what everybody else wants. You know what I mean? So like you know how can I sit around and say that person over there can do whatever they want and I can't do also whatever I want? How can they go around and reject me for that hot girl over there but how come I have to go out with ugly guy? I don't have to! I myself can go out with a really attractive guy if I wanted to because that's who I choose to be with except there is a problem sometimes because the hot guy that I choose to be attracted to and who I want my boy to be my boyfriend, doesn't always want me back. Doesn't maybe for example if I like the guy over there, but he likes the girl way over there it's like he doesn't want me to be his girlfriend but he wants someone else to be his girlfriend and that girl wants another guy to be her boyfriend and it's like nobody wants each other mutually to be each other's boyfriend and girlfriend but everybody is busy liking someone else other than the person that is attracted to them. Because I think a lot of people think that if you are attracted to them, you must be desperate. So like if you find someone attractive and you want to try to flirt with them and get to know them, apparently that's really disgusting and weird because you either look really needy or really desperate to be talking to them maybe they're insecure and they don't understand why you're trying to get to know them. Maybe they think that they're ugly even though they're good looking and they're rejecting you because they don't understand why you're trying so hard to talk to them. Maybe they think that they don't think highly of themselves and they don't understand why you're trying to get with them so they're assuming that you're trying to get with them to have sex with them. Like some other guy's might try to do. Because sometimes what goes through my mind is that when a guy is trying really hard to flirt with me or get to know me and I don't like the guy, what goes through my head is that they are just wanting to have sex eventually. And then that's all they want like that's all there after that's what it looks like to me. So maybe for the guy, when a girl chases after them or flirts with them aggressively, maybe that's what's going through his head is that that girl is flirting with me like that or talking to me in the first place because she probably just wants to sleep with me and that's pretty much it. So it's like maybe the same thing I don't know. The guy should reach out and get to know the girl that way she's not afraid to be flexible but a lot of girls when guys start to flirt with them they don't like it because they instantaneously think that you're trying to talk to them because you're trying to get into their pants. So they'll automatically just reject you because they don't like that feeling of some guy that they don't even know that is weird it tries to talk to them so they'll immediately reject that person. So it's really hard to start off on the right foot with a complete stranger. It really is difficult but if you're like introduced or if like your friends tell you to go out without person or something like that then maybe but even if like my friend for example like told me to go out with somebody, I still I don't know if I would. but I think like if you were trying to be really nice to your friend, then you could go out with the guy that she's trying to set you up with but not really because in your head you're thinking that you have a completely different type of guy that you want to go out with and not that guy that she's trying to hook you up with. So my body hurts again probably from thinking too much